Monday, April 7, 2014

The Big Meeting

As a young kid growing up, I often felt that I couldn't control the fact that my family was messy and loud.  So I kept to myself and my room was immaculately clean.  As I got older, my "neatness" only multiplied because for me, it has always been the one constant, the one thing that I'm really good at and it makes me feel in control of something in my life.  When I get into a situation where I feel at a loss or stuck, I immediately go to the one thing that I can do to re-install order in my life--cleaning.  When people make jokes at my expense about how clean my house or car is, they have no idea why everything is that way and they have no idea that it comes from what I consider my psychological low point. 

So on Friday, 2 hours before I was supposed to be sitting down at a meeting for Owen's transition to Kindergarten, I was frantically dusting, vacuuming, emptying trash cans, folding laundry, cleaning bathrooms.  I couldn't sit still because I had a lot of nervous, anxious energy.   This transition to Kindergarten has hit me harder than really anything to date.  The loss of having control over things that Owen and I have done together for the past 5 years has pushed me to a breaking point forcing me to move past it and accept it.

The meeting on Friday finally gave me a sense of peace that has been elusive to me for at least the past 3 months.  I visited the classroom in February and was able to see how the classroom functioned and I could see how Owen would fit in and would be able to get the 1:1 time he needs to work on things that are harder for him.  Meeting the members of the team, who have been together for some time, was quite reassuring and hearing about the schedule of the day showed that they understand when Owen and his classmates will need sensory breaks.  He will spend time in the morning in general education Kindergarten and an aide will accompany him and his classmates to/from class and offer support, if needed.  They will also eat lunch and have recess with all the Kindy classes; aides will be there to offer assistance during lunch like opening containers or helping carry food trays.  They will continue with our timed toileting schedule unless Owen really gets the hang of it over the summer (crossing my fingers!!).  I really liked hearing though that a main focus was for all the students to be as independent as possible.  So that is something we will work on during the summer with toileting/dressing, practicing how to open lunch box materials and carry a tray with food on it.

One of my biggest issues with school this year has been communication--or really lack thereof.  So I specifically asked how that will be addressed.  The lead teacher, S, said that when we get ready for ESY in July, which she will be a part of, she will ask how we want to communicate--notebook, email, phone call--and how often.  What a breath of fresh air!  Someone is willing to actually tell me what my kid is doing in school?  Amazing.........insert a deep sarcastic sigh here.

Owen will adapt quickly......I'm always the one who has a hard time.  But I do feel better knowing that he is going to get a great team, who already got big smiles and high fives from him at the meeting.   And I will learn to be OK with losing a little bit of control.......but don't be surprised if I open a cleaning service during the school day!

Bring on Kindergarten!


  1. I can only imagine how tough this is. The letting go.... But look at his face in that photo! He is ready!

  2. It's hard to believe he'll be starting kindy this fall! They do always adjust better than we do for sure! I know this is a stressful and anxious time but I hope things will transition smoothly for you both. I'm not looking forward to this in a few years! Love his sweet smile. :)

  3. My little guy is starting Kindergarten soon too. I know exactly what you mean - I am so anxious about it. i am looking forward to our IEP meeting next month hoping they can answer my 1 million and 1 questions. Good Luck and He will be just fine.

  4. Love this post. It **IS** a big transition, particularly for us moms! My most difficult was Angela going to high school. Well, and this year Axel is transitioning to middle school and I'm starting to have issues. LOL

    1. Thank you, Leah, for being there when I had questions and talking me through things. You have no idea how important it's been to me to find someone who's been there and can give me inside information. I'm so excited for our kids to be in class together next year.


I love reading your comments and answering questions, so please let me know that you stopped by!